Saturday, April 12, 2008

Why Drunk Blogging Is So Damn Fun

1) Because you can't really feel your fingers while you type. Yeah, more typos, but hey cool.

2) The tingly feeling in your lips (and many other spots that make me really wish I had a boyfriend).

3) Because for once I really don't give a damn about how fast I go or if I'm making much sense.

4) Typos? What freakin' typos? Do I care? Not really.

5) Because I typed 4 then 56, then 6, then 54 before I got this right.

6) I am not back typing a asingle damn tiym3e on theis one beforfer I hit okay. And itttts is totallly okay.

7) Did I mention I am horny? Yeah, that.

8) I love you all. And I know you love me. It's the only time I know for a fact that millions (okay, tens) of people love me.

9) Am I still typing all the numbers in order? Damn, I'm good.

10) Vodka is my very good friend.

11) There's more? And you're still here? You are really bored, aren't you?

12) You know that we are all totally sexy people, right? We are HOT, dammit. Even me.

13) I almost don't even mind that it's been five years and almost two months since I've had sex. (5 years and 59 days, according to) I think this makes me a virgin again. This is a good thing as I am hoping for chastity before marriage for my children, right? Don't tell me that it's unlikely, I already know this. Leave me with my little fantasies, okay? Okay.

14) Ordinarily I am pathetically slow to make sure that things are just right before I do the next thing. Now? Yeah, right. Keep up with me if you can.

15) Fuck. There, I said it.

16) I love you, Jenny. You too, Ro and Christina. And Paul, you're cool, too. And BG and Lil Mouse and Stephanie and Min and Kate and people I can't remember now because did I mention I'm drunk blogging? I need more people who comment on a regular basis. I am pathetic. Loserville.

17) How did I not discover vodka for so long?

18) America's Next Top Model alternates between making me feel horrible and awesome. I'm not sure why.

19) I make no sense to anyone but myself and that is totally okay.

20) Am I still going? Apparently so.

21) Dancing is a good thing. And I need to do more of it. I am shimmying as I type. It does not help my balance much.

22) Oh holy cow somebody take my keyboard away from me.

23) I love you.

24) I'm going now. Sadly, not to bed. To find more vodka. I am pathetic but I love you all. Did I mention that already? Yeah. And I want to visit Houston and Seattle. Now.

Bye. mk

p.s. 25) my joints are OILED. OILED, I tell you. I move like an amazing dancer. And this was supposed to be one of the first reasons, but? I totally forgot when I started typing. You know how that goes, how you totally forget what you started to say....where was I? Oh yeah. Oiled.

* And things like whipping your cursor around is really fun.

* Did you notice I gave up on numbers?

* Shaking your head around so your head whips all over the place is fun, too.

* Um.


Margaret said...

I am watching the ANTM weekly marathon... and I feel the same way.

Especially with that beautiful girl they have on the new season. "Plus Sized".

Size Frickin TEN.

Plus Sized???

What in the hell?

Anonymous said...

OMG. And you didn't call me to come over because....????

markira said...


Because I am stupid.


I KNOW. I heard her say 'size 10' and I wanted to throw up. Size 10 is my GOAL!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Dunk blogging rocks. Yoplait on-uppers do not.

Anonymous said...

Good stuff, vodka-blogging. More vodka, I say.

Though, personally, margaritas and chocolate martinis rank a tad higher on the scale. Still. Whatever gets you there.

Barb said...

ok I just happened to stumble upon your blog and I love love love it...
A drunken Vodka blog??? How perfect... I will have to try that...I love vodka...yummmmmmmm....
I can see that we could be great firends..come on over and check out my blog

The Beast Mom said...

Well I've been trying to get in the exact same silly state of mind as you all week and it's not happening. We aren't matchy-matchy for now. :) I've been all serious and intense for a while. This post was really funny. I was smilin' a lot. You can visit anytime. When I publish this stupid book that's making me all serious and consumed, I'll buy you a plane ticket ok? :)


johnny said...

Randomly found your blog. This post is so funny. Looking forward to more "drunk" postings. It should be a weekly routine.