Wednesday, November 23, 2011


So, Kira and I have been watching Glee on Netflix. We just finished watching an episode in which this song was played not once, but -twice- during the show. With lyrics. And obvious emphasis on the meaning of the chorus.

Pleeeease let her not recognize that this is the ringtone I have had for her father for several years. :P

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Things That Made Me Laugh Tonight

In typing my earlier post about Mark and the garage door, I found myself looking at movie and TV cliches. Some of them were just meh, but a few of them made me literally laugh out loud. Such as:

*Whenever someone is being chased by a car, they continue running down the middle of the street and never duck into a place the car can't get into.

I have no idea why this one gave me the giggles as badly as it did, but I find myself still grinning like a fool thinking about it.

I also found these: (and C, I thought of you and previous posts about oddly translated signs)

Actual English Subtitles Used in Hong Kong Films

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

15. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

16. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

17. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind
that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to

18. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now
deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

19. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go
into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard

I seriously need to get out more. mk

Living in a Comic Strip

I swear to God, so many times I feel like I am living in a comic strip, or a sitcom. I was going to say the Brady Bunch, but I'm missing several kids, a new husband, Alice, and Tiger (although did anyone notice that Tiger just disappeared after awhile?).

Mark has his permit. Which, naturally, means that he is rabid to drive. Being the Awesome Incredible Mom that I am, I try to let him take the wheel as much as possible.

Have I mentioned that I just got a new(er) car??

The title finally came in, I got it registered, it is officially the new markiramobile. Mark loves driving the new car. Whenever I am supposed to take him someplace or pick him up, he makes sure to ask me to bring the new car (I keep telling him that the Impala is now the primary vehicle, that he doesn't have to keep saying that, but he wants to be really, really sure that he'll have the chance to drive it).

So, Tuesday we were going to Kira's practice, and naturally Mark was going to drive there. I had at that point had the car registered for less than a week, after waiting 19 days for the replacement title to come in. -I- was still eager to drive the car as much as possible, but I remember what it is like to have your permit, to finally after years of dreaming about it, be able to be legally behind the wheel, to have the power of thousands of pounds of metal in your hands.

We're in the driveway, Mark adjusts the seat, the mirrors, responsibly makes sure that everyone is buckled up, puts his foot on the brake, puts the car in gear, rests his right hand over the back of the seat as he turns around to watch behind him to back out of the driveway.

At which point I look over at the dashboard and, in increasingly frantic tones, say:

"You're in drive...You're in drive...YOU'RE IN DRIVE!!"

I spent the rest of the way to Kira's practice in some vague semi-hysterical state between laughter and not-quite-crying, realizing that my new car, that I have been waiting and waiting to get, was almost a prop in a cartoon cliche of a beginning driver barreling into the garage door instead of going in reverse.

Seriously. Comic strip life. mk