Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.*

*Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Ok. Quick (or, knowing me, not so quick) summation of the last six months.

No more boyfriend. Big surprise there.

Surgery in December to fix the whole bleeding thing. Am now officially unable to have any more children, as my uterus has become a hostile environment. That happens when they scorch out your uterine lining. Am still having difficulty adjusting to the fact that I definitely can no longer bear children. Particularly lately.

Am in the process of having Mark looked at for the possibility of ADHD/inattentive. Testing on June 1.

Kira is attending her first school dance on Friday. It's sort of a step-up dance, where the fifth graders are included with the middle-school kids (grades 6-8). I am chaperoning. She is unimpressed. She is also hoping a certain boy in her class goes to the dance.

I am currently working to recover from another breakdown. This past weekend. This is one of the things I am trying, blogging, to see if it helps. Especially since I am really working to keep my general writing 'voice' and not give in to the desire to just repeat endlessly, 'this sucks. I suck. everything sucks.' I have the kids staying with x an extra two days to give myself time to bury it over enough that I will be back to what passes for almost normal for me. Fingers crossed.

Is there more? There should be more. Well, there -is- more, but a lot of it are topics I just flat-out don't discuss in this blog. And some of it I can't talk about because it is still too painful. Very likely never will, either, because it's sort of mixed in with the stuff I never talk about. sigh. mk


Why the hell have I ignored this blog for so long? I'm a good writer (modest, too, huh), and it's always so beneficial to me to pour this crap out on the page rather than bottle it up, but somehow I always manage to forget that and wrap myself all up in my head instead. Fabulous. Very healthy.

By now I'm sure the what, three or four people who ever faithfully read this blog have long abandoned it, so I am most likely talking to myself, which, really, is mostly the purpose anyway (as much as I love you guys).

Right now is a particularly good time for me to reconnect with my blog. I'm in rather desperate need of a bit of pouring-out.

As usual when I've been away for months, it's likely that I'll be particularly prolific for a few days with various postings. Maybe I'll even level out and then just post on a regular (daily?) basis, but you know me, I'm not especially skilled in moderation. We'll see. mk