Tuesday, May 30, 2006

May 30, 2006

Well, Kira got next to no sleep last night. She just would not settle down and let herself go to sleep. She kept getting up, wandering around, coming in my room every little while to tell me she couldn't sleep, getting out a sleeping bag and sneaking into the front closet with it, getting out her coloring books...finally at about 4am, I stood next to her (after I'd tucked her in for the babillionth time) and told her to CLOSE HER EYES. She kept them shut for about a half a second, then popped them back open. Told her to close them and *keep* them closed. Again, about two seconds, opened 'em back up again. I told her NOT TO OPEN HER EYES. She finally kept them closed, and within a couple of minutes, she was asleep. Of course, then *I* couldn't get back to sleep.

I figured that she would surely have a hard day at school today. Emailed the teacher to give her a heads-up. But Kira came home chipper, and the teacher emailed back that she was fine. I had Kira take a nap after school, and had a very hard time getting her up to come down for supper. She didn't eat much, and after a quick shower she was back in bed at 7, and I'm sure she's asleep already....she was yawning as I was saying the Goodnights.


So I found out yesterday that while Mark was at his friend Mark S's house last week, MarkS brought out a bottle of nonalcoholic beer, and asked Mark to try it. MarkS's mother was RIGHT THERE. Mark felt really weird about it, he knew it was something I would not approve of, but there was a mom right there and she wasn't stopping it, so he gave it a sip. (He thought it was GROSS. Apparently MarkS went on to mix a bit of it in his Sierra Mist. Gag.)

So I called the mom today to ask her what was up with that. I was trying to be very calm about it. The mom wasn't particularly flustered, and said that she had BOUGHT IT FOR HER SON (<===my incredulous emphasis here), so he could have some while she was having some wine. She was under the impression that nonalcoholic beer had NO alcohol in it. (which you would think, considering the name, but it does have up to 0.5% alcohol in it) Still, the point being, that it is BEER, and she was considering it fine for a TEN YEAR OLD to try it. (Her son is 12....not a whole lot of difference in my book) She did apologize, and said that it wouldn't happen again. I'm a little flummoxed at this point as to what to do next. I don't particularly like the idea that this woman is (and I am using this term VERY loosely here) supervising my son when he goes over there. I do like her personally, and MarkS is Mark's best friend, and I like MarkS. X ABSOLUTELY does not want Mark going over any more, and while I DEFINITELY see his point, it's a little more complicated for me, especially since Patti and her family just moved this past weekend into the main part of the house that Mary & MarkS live in (M&M live in the attached ell), and it is inevitable that it would get uncomfortable to have Kira going over to Sophia's but not allowing Mark to go next door to MarkS's. Oh well, I'll work it out somehow. The important thing is to parent my child, and to make sure that *if* he is out of my direct supervision, that I approve of the decision-making capabilities of the adult I am leaving him with. And it comes down to I don't trust Mary's decisions. This was a biggie.

I combine that with a month or two ago when he came home from MarkS's with a candy cigarette. Now, I had some of those myself when I was a kid. But now, as a mom, I completely disapprove of them. Especially with as much information as we have nowadays about the dangers of smoking. I put candy cigarettes and nonalcoholic beer in almost the same category. Is this REALLY something we want to encourage with our children? What, are we letting them PRACTICE doing the unhealthy habits that we are supposedly training them not to want to do???? How contradictory.

The positive part about this whole incident is knowing that Mark *will* tell one of us (he actually told X's wife) when something like this happens. I had a talk with Mark, and told him that it was a very responsible thing for him to do to tell one of us. I also told him that I understood how he was confused about what the right thing to do was (his words: "it was weird") with MarkS's mom being right there and all. We talked a little about peer pressure, and how hard it was to do the right thing. I gave him my permission to use me freely as the "bad guy" to get out of a situation like that ("hey man, my mom would KILL ME" or "sorry, my mom won't let me go out on Friday so I can't go to that highly illegal party") until he can get the hang of just saying "NO" on his own. I also explained that he has just had his first major encounter with negative peer pressure. And warned him that it's only going to get harder. Sigh.


Well, it turns out that Kira is NOT asleep. She is again just not letting herself shut down. She's even pulling out the "I miss Daddy" thing, which she hasn't done in wow, probably a YEAR or maybe even more. I know it's not that she actually misses him to the point that she's not sleeping. A big part of it is I'm not letting her sleep in my bed tonight, and didn't let her last night either. If she thinks that once I say no to sleeping in my bed, that playing the I-Miss-Daddy card is going to help her, she is mistaken. I shall not be manipulated.

Speaking of manipulating, I'm going to manipulate my butt up the stairs and go to bed. I'm wiped out.

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