Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Who the Hell Makes These Commercials?

I've thought for a long time that the people in advertising who create commercials are completely convinced that we are all morons. The average commercial treats us all like idiots. grrrr.

Anyway, some of the things on TV that have irritated me recently (like that's hard):

* DNA tests on court-tv shows. We go an entire half-hour or so, listening to every little detail of these people's relationships, hearing the judge's opinion on whether or not it will work out and whether they're decent people, then at the end is the big dramatic reveal of paternity. Seriously, just skip to the end. All the other stuff is irrelevant. There is no "ruling" on paternity. It's a blood test. Really.

* Speaking of, I still haven't seen Mamma Mia! but the premise drives me a little batty. Daughter brings a bunch of guys her mom slept with who *might* be her father to her wedding, and tries to figure out which one is her dad. Two words, people: paternity test. And lest you now be inspired to comment to tell me how much you loooooooved the movie, it's irrelevant. The PREMISE of the movie is idiotic.

* The latest $5 footlong Subway commercial. It's a friggin' cheerleader routine. "5. $5. $5 footlong. ANY. foot.long." I scramble for the remote as soon as I see that starting, singing la-la-la to drown it out.

* ANY of the Hillshire Farms "Go meat" commercials. But especially the one in the airplane. This is another one that gets muted as fast as I possibly can. I can't even LOOK at that one.

* Legal Options. One of them has two "soccer moms" standing by a sports field. Both are in sweatsuits. (because you know, all of us soccer moms only wear sweatsuits when we cheer on our kids) One of them has pant legs that are too short and make her look like an idiot. The other woman, the one who is hanging on her friend's every word hearing about this great business, echoes "Legal Options?" and the last part of 'options' is so high dogs will bark. Then at the end, she's all "I'll call them right now!!!!" all chipper and amazed. She's a moron. And there is wind sound through the microphones, which are all muffled. Really. Fix that.

* The Herbal Essences girls. They all have these long pointy noses and flair their nostrils out at some point during the commercial. (well, all two that I've seen) Wait...is it Herbal Essence? I have no idea, I'm too busy being annoyed by these women's noses.

* The Dixie coffee cup commercial. What the hell is with the shoulder thing they all do at each other? It's stupid. And not in a "Pepsi side-head-bop" catchy-stupid way. It's just flat-out stupid. Then they all end up in the elevator posing with their cups. Ya.

* Cash 4 Gold. The guy with the (incredibly outdated) glasses, the main spokesguy, NEVER BLINKS. Ever! And the individual people are ALL annoying! In BOTH commercials we've seen! My kids even grab for the remote to mute this one, while we all make noise so we don't hear even a millisecond of it.

* The Japanese guy on Heroes. I don't even care what his name is. He is an idiot. One of the reasons I have zero interest in this show is because of him.

I know there are more, but those are the ones that popped into my head first. There. Haven't vented about idiocy in awhile. I feel better. :) mk


The Beast Mom said...

Have you seen the competing commercials for Cash4Gold? They're even worse.

The ones I really hate right now are the Progressive Auto commercials w/ the boppy brunette lady.

And I still hate all male enhancement commercials. ALL the people on those act like total idiot-sheep. Because you know, since the product has sold to ten million other apparently petite sheep, why not follow? That's the logic they present for why more people should buy this stuff - a sales number.


markira said...

OH...the Progressive lady...FLO. I HATE her! She is sooooo annoying.

I actually looked up the "natural male enhancement" product....apparently they've had all sorts of trouble with the FDA and stuff, regarding truth in advertising and fraudulent products.

Capt. Brenda said...

I don't get the Quaker Oats commercials. Have you seen the one where all these women are jumping on trampolines and they go way up in the clouds (with some music in the background I don't remember)? The only mention of a product is the Quaker Oats logo on the trampoline. Really. It annoys me. And I don't get it. As much as I don't get the one where the wife puts two canisters of Quaker Oats in her husband's "Flight Pack" and he flies off to work. What?!?

markira said...

OH YES, I *hate* the "Flight Pack" one, too. So insanely stupid. I mean, I get it, but it's dumb.