Saturday, November 05, 2011

Things That Made Me Laugh Tonight

In typing my earlier post about Mark and the garage door, I found myself looking at movie and TV cliches. Some of them were just meh, but a few of them made me literally laugh out loud. Such as:

*Whenever someone is being chased by a car, they continue running down the middle of the street and never duck into a place the car can't get into.

I have no idea why this one gave me the giggles as badly as it did, but I find myself still grinning like a fool thinking about it.

I also found these: (and C, I thought of you and previous posts about oddly translated signs)

Actual English Subtitles Used in Hong Kong Films

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

15. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

16. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

17. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind
that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to

18. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now
deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

19. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go
into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard

I seriously need to get out more. mk

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