Yes, I Still Hate Valentine's Day

I'm so tired.

I'm tired of this stupid freakin' build-up to the "most romantic day of the year" which is just a bunch of bullshit because it's not at all a spontaneous expression of the overflowing love you feel for someone. It's a cave to the pressure that the ENTIRE WORLD seems to put on anyone in a relationship, that if they DON'T get something excessive (or god forbid, anything at all) for their "Valentine," then they are somehow heartless neglectful horrible jerks, one step away from a monster.

I'm tired of feeling jealous of the people who announce with fanfare just how amazing their partner is because they gave/did/made this-or-that. It's bad enough if on a random day of the year, someone spoils their special someone rotten and I have to hear about it and get all wistful. I even understand this expectation for a declaration or grand show of love on a day that has personal significance, like an anniversary. That's individual, specific to a particular bond of love. But a nationally observed day of love? C'mon.

I'm tired of the weeks of buildup before the actual date, day after day of watching sappy commercials on television that tell you that if you just get your woman *this* spectacular diamond solitaire pendant, or *these* one-of-a-kind earrings (mass-produced in Taiwan), or take her on *that* once-of-a-lifetime dream vacation to some exotic beach resort, only then will you be able to truly show your love. Bullshit.

I'm tired of being bitter for a month every year about being single. I honestly don't even know if I do or don't want to be in a relationship most of the time. But I'd like to be able to ponder this in peace and quiet, without a blaring hysterical focus on the status of everyone's relationship as the big V-day approaches. So many new and fragile dating relationships must implode under the pressure of the expectations thrust upon them about what to do about Valentine's Day. Do you get a present? A card? Roses? Dinner? Nothing? Is it time to kiss? More than kiss? Does he expect it? Does she? A big fast-forward is put on it. And this applies to pretty much every dating relationship that begins after the New Year. Am I doing enough? Too much? What are the rules here? ARE there rules here?

I'm just tired. Tired of seeing it all, tired of hearing it all, tired of being left out of it all even though I don't want it. Tired of wanting it, even when I don't want it. (confusing? try living through that contradictory pair of emotions)

I'm. so. tired. mk