May 31, 2006

The bread guy flirted with me today.

I'm calling him the bread guy....actually, he was fiddling around with this little display at the end of the aisle that held an assortment of stuff....I had to go past him to get to the hot foods. He told me to be careful, not to trip. I smiled & kept going....then he said, "Actually, I'd catch you if you fell." I smiled again, thanked him, & went to order the hot food.

Now, most people would not think this was particularly remarkable. However, I am TOTALLY not used to being flirted with anymore. I was an incurable flirt for many years. I flirted, and I was flirted with. It was a natural state of affairs for me, and I took it completely for granted.

However. Since the kids, and the gaining of entirely too much weight, and the onset of severe chronic depression and anxiety disorders, I have gotten so far away from the me that would flirt, that I don't even recognize me anymore. My normal state of being has become downbeat and self-bashing.

So to have the bread guy flirt with me was a truly amazing event. And this was not the only event of the day!

Earlier, at WalMart, a former junior-high boyfriend sent me over to a register even though I had WAY too many items. (probably just being nice, and he did have other cashiers coming up to the front 'cause it was crowded, but I still felt a little special. Pathetic, I know.)

Then the bread guy.

In the same store as the bread guy, the potato-chip guy struck up conversation with me, and tried to impress me with his stories about chip company competitions. (I was more taken by the bread guy's technique. By this time I was kicking myself at my slow response.)

Then I went to Mark's baseball game, and one of the dads stopped me to ask about a classmate's birthday party this Saturday. Then he very authoritatively announced, "You've lost weight." I looked down, back up, said "Nope." He came right back: "Yes you have." So I said thanks. (personally I think I would be in a better position to know whether I'd lost weight, but hey, whatever)

So I've gone from not being noticed at all, feeling completely under the radar, to having FOUR different guys today take initiative to talk to and/or flirt and/or compliment me.

I think I'm going to wear the clothes I had on today, more often.