Sunday, November 23, 2008

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send the Dolphins Right Over

Went to a friend's to watch the Patriots game on Sunday. Brenda and Brian were there, too. We ate chili and talked and laughed and cheered and generally had a great time. For me the football game is always peripheral to the company of good friends, and Sunday was no different. The game was okay, Pats won, yada yada. In the last moments of the game it became obvious that there was no way for Miami to come back and take it. Pats were 20 points ahead. This made me wonder what would happen if the Pats just stood back and said, "Hey, go ahead. You've got 37 seconds to try to make 20 points. Run with it. You'll get at most 7 before we get possession back. Go. Run."

Brenda thought it might be more interesting if the Pats just lined up against the Miami 0-yard line and see if the Dolphins could break through. You know, like Red Rover. I agree, I think that would be way more fun.

[aside: In a travesty against youth, my son did NOT know what Red Rover is. This must be remedied.]

Some of the other conversation included particular difficulties we as individuals and Americans in general have with language and pronunciation. Brian, like myself, gained most of his vocabulary through reading, and even today doesn't necessarily know how to pronounce the words he knows. (My biggest flub-up is "envelop." Especially when it is used as past tense: enveloped. I always pronounce it en'-ve-loped.)

Brenda told us that until very recently, Brian said 'crudites' as "crud-ites" (to rhyme with mud mites). Brian defended himself, and said that "Americany" pronunciation was messed up. Which of course provoked its own mini-hilarity.

Once we got past the totally geeky nature of discussing grammar and language, we moved on to a situation whereby the grandparents of a girl adopted her, and then insisted that the girl call them "Mom & Dad." Which turned all of her aunts and uncles into brothers and sisters. Including her own birth mother. And her brother would be her nephew, except he was adopted too. Doesn't it sound all redneck-y?

Speaking of redneck, after the game we happened upon probably the most bizarre program I have seen on TV: My Big Redneck Wedding. Have you people seen this? It is insane. The bride wore bottlecap earrings, carried her bouquet in a beer mug, wore sneakers with her gown (not even new or clean sneakers--somehow this bothered me more than the rest of it), said, "Hell YEAH I do!" at the end of her vows. The bride and groom then shared a disgustingly long kiss and jumped in a mud pit. He gave her a Harley for a wedding gift, and she gave him these. We won't even get into the reception games, like bobbing for pig's feet, toilet-seat horseshoes, or the groom's cake. The armadillo ROADKILL groom's cake, complete with tire tracks. Oh. My.

I told my dad later that I was taking notes in case I ever get married again. mk

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