Bad Day

I am having a very bad day. Nothing in particular has happened to trigger it, I just woke up that way.

I didn't sleep well last night, there were odd dreams and I woke up lying sideways in my bed (which is not usual for me). I was unrested and damn I look it. I will be picking up some hemorrhoid cream today to see if it's true that it helps diminish the humongous bags I have under my eyes. I'll let you know.

It snowed yesterday and last night and my car is covered. For some reason I am absolutely dreading, just DREADING, going out and uncovering the car. I was going to have the kids do it but they dawdled getting ready for school and in fact Mark missed the bus on the first round (it comes back past the house, though, so he caught it then), so it remains covered. I am just dreading this.

I have lots of housework to do, mostly laundry, but there is also a shitload of stuff in the upstairs hallway from Saturday, when Kira and I cleaned out her room. Her room looked fabulous (who knows if it still does...it did last night, but she was in there this morning and I'm betting there's crap on the floor again). I have no idea where I am going to put all that stuff. I still haven't made a decision whether I'm going to attempt a lawn sale this year (where I would have a chance to make some money, which would be very helpful as I don't have much) or if I'm going to just get rid of it at the swap shop or something, so that it will be out of my face. I am struggling hard with my compulsion to keep things "just in case."

I look like hell, my weight has gone berserk, I don't look good in my clothes, I know I need to get my fat ass back on Atkins and I just don't have the energy. I've started it umpteen times and then I have some emotional thing happen that I use as an excuse to pig out. I hate it.

I have therapy today. I haven't taken a shower, I am not doing makeup because really I can't be bothered. I did do a little something with my hair but not much, and frankly I don't really care.

I have to do some grocery shopping and a WalMart trip after that and I bet I run into lots of people I know because I look and feel like crap.

I'm grumpy and pissy and moaning and groaning and griping and complaining. I'd like to just smack myself and say to get the hell over it. Then of course I would smack myself back and there would be a massive catfight and I would claw out all my hair.

I really just want to climb back in bed and sleep for a month or so. Maybe I'll be in a better mood when I wake up. Of course, this is not an option. Great.